Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Meme from Guggs & Vera

1. Where were you 3 hours ago?
Sitting at my desk doing work (shocking, isn’t it?)

2. Who are you in love with?
It’s hard to love when being bitter is so incredibly sweet.

3. Have you ever eaten a crayon?
Not a crayon. A marker, yes. I have also eaten spiders, green beans that sat in my purse for two weeks, and once I stuck a dead june bug in my nose.

4. Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?
Some paper about volunteering for Habitat for Humanity. (ACK! How did THAT get within ten feet of me without bursting in flames?)

5. When is the last time you went to the mall?
Sometime last month. I always buy something, you know, cute to wear when I have a date and then I am too much of a prude to actually show it to the guy. Either that, or he stands me up and I get mad and show it to some complete stranger.

6. Are you wearing socks right now?
I am wearing knee highs. I know. Hot. Please refrain from sending me your perverted emails.

7. Do you have anything over $2,000?
Not that is completely mine. I am financing a bunch o’ crap right now. Although…I am sure I could get some stupid man to give me $2000.50 and in return I will show him my brastrap. So, yes then, I guess my brastrap is worth over $2000.

8. When was the last time you drove out of town?
Saturday for Bone’s birthday and Happy Pappy’s Day.

9. Have you been to the movies in the last 5 days?
No. I was supposed to go tonight but I just got canceled on because he has tickets to some dumb game with his dumb boss. Any strange men want to see some cute panties?

10. Are you hot?
Funny you should ask, Number 10. I have been experiencing hot flashes for the past 4 days. I am only 27. Do you think I am going through early menopause? If so, I can’t wait to grow a beard! THEN I will look hot.

11. What was the last thing you had to drink?
Diet Coke, yo.

12. What are you wearing right now?
Gray slacks and a light blue sweater and heels. Yeah, I am big pimpin.

13. Do you wash your car or let the car wash do it?
Are you kidding me? And risk getting dirt under my nails? Heck no. Heck. No. The carwash people do it.

14. Last food that you ate?
I had a burger and fries from Dairy Queen and I don’t even regret it. So there.

15. Where were you last week at this time?
Probably at work trying desperately to get my boss to like me. I am planning on wrapping his computer in toilet paper. That is going to get me so many points.

16. Have you bought any clothing items in the last week?
Yes, because I am an idiot because I know when I buy these types of things, my night is going to go terribly awry. I should have just bought some mauve colored granny panties that come up to my 18-Hour Bra. Then I would be getting ass. But nooooooo……

17. When is the last time you ran?
That would have to be the last time someone was chasing me with a knife and that would have to be, um, never. Delicate flowers don’t run lest they damage their beautiful petals.

18. What's the last sporting event you watched?
Well, if by 'watched' you mean ‘getting drunk and talking over the game and not really paying attention to it at all’, then basketabll – Dallas vs. Miami.

19. What is your favorite animal?
Men.

20. Your dream vacation?
Anywhere with endless amounts of calorie-and-fat-free cheese and Diet Coke.

21. Last person's house you were in?\Stephaneppanie’s house, but she has an apartment. If we are talking real housey houses, then my parents’ and right before that, Hambone’s parents’ house. Hambone = Mexican parents = Breakfast = Chorizo & Egg Tacos with Homemade Tortialls. I want to wake up in his parents’ house every day.

23. Have you been in love?
Not the healthy, grown-up kind.

24. Do you miss anyone right now?
Yes.

Oh, you are expecting me to name names?

Well, tough shit.

25. Last play you saw?
If by ‘saw’, you mean ‘laid in the grass and made fun of people’ and by ‘play’ you mean ‘opera’, then it was a couple of weeks ago ith Nep and John. It was called the “Marriage of Fiagarro” and I have no idea what it was about. I am assuming it had something to do with the marriage of some cat named Figarro.

27.What are your plans for tonight?
THANKS FOR BRINGING IT UP AFUCKINGAIN. I ALREADY TOLD YOU I GOT CANCELLED ON FOR A DATE. WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO LET IT GO YOU ASSHOLE MEME?

28. Who is the last person you sent a myspace message or comment?
Erin.

29. Next trip you are going to take?
I am going to see my girls and I cannot wait.

30. Ever go to camp?
Campfire camp, which was like the generic girl scout camp. Oh, and I went to church camp once. Got my first, you know, woman-thing there. Should have known God hated me from that moment.

31. Were you an honor roll student in school?
In third grade. Yeah, I was pretty much the smartest 3rd grader in my whole school.

32. What do you want to know about the future?
Nothing. I like to be surprised.

33. Are you wearing any perfume or cologne?
Yep. Vera Wang perfume and hamburger juice. I am a tasty bitch.

34. Are you due sometime this year for a doctor's visit?
No. I am done. Unless I get another UTI and have to go back and have my doctor blame it on all the whoring around I do. Her mean.

36. What happened to 35?
You tell me, Meme. It’s all you.

37. Do you have a tan?
A tan what? If you are talking about my skin, I have a white. If you are talking about my luggage, I have a gray, and if you are talking about my emotional well-being, then I smell something burning.

38. What are you listening to right now?
Co-workers probably discussing how that girl in office 1223 is such a slut with her light blue sweater and her gray slacks who does she think she is anyway?

39. Do you collect anything?
Yes. Hearts and balls of men.

40. Who is the biggest gossiper you know?
I have this gay friend…wait, that one is too obvious. Ummmm, me. I have a HUGE mouth. Don’t tell me ANYTHING. Even if you don't, I will make stuff up about you and spread it all over the office.

41. Last time you got stopped by a cop or pulled over?
This question is made just for jinxing me, isn’t it? I have gotten pulled over 12 times, gotten 1 ticket. I am due. The last time I got pulled over was about 5 years ago.
42. Have you ever drank your soda from a straw?What kind is stupid question is this? Who doesn’t drink their soda from a straw? And here, it isn’t called “soda”. It’s called “Coke”. Get it right.

44. Do you like hot sauce?
Eff YES!

45. Last time you took a shower?
Last night. I am a dirty girl, no?

46. Do you need to do laundry?
Nope. I am a clean girl, no?

47. What is your heritage?
Czech, Polish, Scottish, and A-merican.

48. Are you someone's best friend?
Yes, but I think she just tells me that so I will give her money every week.

49. Are you rich?
Like a Cadbury Egg, baby.

50. What do you think of the person who took this survey before you?
She has a great pussy.

4 Comments:

Blogger Güggs said...

LOL!!!! This made me howl. Answer to number 9: Yes.

9:40 PM  
Blogger Scott said...

Great post... I did this a while back and Gugs said that I was Metro... made me laugh my ass off for a few hours. Wow, that makes me sound really really boring.

Scott

7:16 AM  
Blogger keda said...

hmmmm. really? cool.

3:40 AM  
Blogger The Tart said...

Finally a good list to work with!
Great replys.

Smooch,
The Tart
; )

9:54 AM  

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